One day at the end of class little Johnny's teacher has the class go home and think of a story and then conclude the moral of that story. The following day the teacher asks for the first volunteer to tell their story, little Suzy raises her hand. "My dad owns a farm and every Sunday we load the chicken eggs on the truck and drive into town to sell them at the market. Well, one Sunday we hit a big bump and all the eggs flew out of the basket and onto the road." The teacher asks for the moral of the story. Suzy replies, "Don't keep all your eggs in one basket." Next is little Lucy. "Well my dad owns a farm too and every weekend we take the chicken eggs and put them in the incubator. Last weekend only 8 of the 12 eggs hatched." The teacher asks for the moral of the story. Lucy replies "Don't count your eggs before they're hatched." Last is little Johnny. "My uncle Ted fought in the Vietnam war; his plane was shot down over enemy territory. He jumped out before it crashed with only a case of beer, a machine gun and a machete. On the way down he drank the case of beer. Unfortunately, he landed right in the middle of 100 Vietnamese soldiers. He shot 70 with his machine gun, but ran out of bullets, so he pulled out his machete and killed 20 more. The blade on his machete broke, so he killed the last ten with his bare hands". Teacher looks in shock at Johnny and asks if there is possibly any moral to his story. Johnny replies, "Don't fuck with uncle Ted when he's been drinking!"

Which of dis guys mumu pass? Lokili: "Hey Akpos! I just got my BlackBerry torch. I'll buy my pin next week" Akpos: "Hmmm? U try o! Me don dash ambali my own oh" Lokili: "Ah!:O why na?" Akpos: "Bcos BlackBerry don tire me, now na BB I dey use!" Lokili: "wow! U are rich oh! I envy u, Is ur BB Samsung or Nokia?" Akpos:" Noooooooo! How can I use those cheap BB! It's Microsoft na " Lokili: "Wow! Dat one must b very expensive oh! Shey BlackBerry can ping BB? Just give me your pin so dat i can Call u when I buy my own pin" Akpos: "Eyaaa, I'm sorry. I left my pin at home, u know its not safe walking around with your pin, E fit chook me!!! na who mumu pass?

AKPOS STORY!!! I was in the public toilets and had just sat down, a voice from the next cubicle said “Hi !, how are you ?” Embarrassed, I said, “I’m doing fine”. The voice said “So what are you up to ?”. I said, “Just doing the same as you, sitting here !”. From next door, “Can I come over?”. Annoyed, I said ” rather busy right now”. The voice said, “Listen, i will have to call you back, there’s an idiot next door answering all my questions".

A female teacher,was having a problem with Akpors in her class of 3rd grade. Akpors said 'M'am, I should b in 4th grade, i'm smarter than my sis & she's in the 4th grade'. The M'am {Teacher} had heard enough of his complains & took Akpors 2 the Principal's office. She explained everything 2 the Principal who decided 2 test Akpors with some questions that a 4th grade should know. Principal: What's 3 + 3? Akpors: 6 Principal: 6 + 6? Akpors: 12 & so on.. The Principal asked the boy many questions & Akpors got them right. The Principal then asked M'am 2 send Akpors 2 4th grade. M'am decided 2 ask some more questions & the Principal agreed. M'am: What does a cow have 4 of, that I've only 2 of? Akpors: Legs M'am: What's in ur pants that u have but I dont have? Akpors: Pockets M'am: What starts wit a C & ends with T, is hairy, oval, delicious & contains thin whitish liquid? Akpors: Coconut M'am: What goes in hard & pink then comes out soft & sticky? The principal's eyes open really wide,but b4 he could stop the answer, the boy was taking charge. Akpors: Bubble Gum M'am: U stick ur poles inside me. U tie me down 2 get me up, I get wet b4 u do. What am I? Akpors: Tent The principal was looking restless M'am: A finger goes in me. U fiddle with me when u're bored. The best man always has me 1st n what am I? Akpors: Wedding Ring M'am: I come in many sizes. When Ï'm not well, I drip. When u blow me,u feel good? Akpors: Nose M'am: I've a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates,I come with a quiver Akpors:Arrow M'am: What starts wit 'F' & ends with a 'K' & if u dont get it, u've 2 use ur hand? Akpors:Fork M'am: Whats it that all men have,it's longer in some men than others,the Pope doesn't use his & a man gives it 2 his wife after marriage? Akpors: Surname M'am: What part of the man has no bone, but has muscles with a lot of veins like pumpin & is responsible 4 making love? Akpors: Heart The principal breathed a sigh of relief & told the teacher:- 'Send Akpors 2 University, I got the last 10 questions wrong myself!

Teacher: "Kids tell me what your parents do for a living" . Ochuko: "My mom is a teacher and my dad is a mechanic". . Teacher:"Good" . Jennifer:"my mom is unemployed and my dad is a teacher" . Teacher:"good" . Akpos:"my mom is a prostitute and i don't know my dad" . Teacher:"Get out of my class and go to principal's office, and tell him what you just told me" . 10 minutes later Akpos returns smiling and eating an apple . Teacher:"Why are you smiling? Did you tell the principal what you told me?" . Akpos:"Yes I did" . Teacher:"What did he say?" . Akpos:"He just gave me an apple and asked me to give him my mom's phone number and address". One word for the Principal.

SEE GOBE: Three men took their wives to d hospital for delivery, shortly the Nurse came out and asked, who is JOSEPH that works with three crown milk, the man stood up, congratulations your wife has delivered three bouncing babies. Shortly, d Nurse came out again and asked, who is JOHN that works with 7up, the man stood up, congrats your wife has delivered 7 bouncing babies. Immediately,the third man took off and ran away because he works at 33 larger beer.. WETIN DEY PURSUE AM? Hit the like button and Comment..

Once upon a time there was an island where all the feelings lived; Happiness, Sadness, Knowledge, and all the others......, including Love. One day it was announced to all of the feelings that the island was going to sink to the bottom of the ocean. So all the feelings prepared their boats to leave. Love was the only one that stayed. She wanted to preserve the island until the last possible moment. When the island was almost totally under, Love decided it was time to leave. She began looking for someone to ask for help. Just then Richness was passing by in a grand boat. Love asked, "Richness, Can I come with you on your boat?" Richness answered, "I'm sorry, but there is a lot of silver and gold on my boat and there would be no room for you." Then Love decided to ask Vanity for help who was passing in a beautiful vessel. Love cried out, "Vanity, help me please." I can't help you", Vanity said, "You are all wet and will damage my beautiful boat." Next, Love saw Sadness passing by. Love said, "Sadness, please let me go with you." Sadness answered, "Love, I'm sorry, but, I just need to be alone now." Then, Love saw Happiness. Love cried out, "Happiness, please take me with you." But Happiness was so overjoyed that he didn't hear Love calling to him. Love began to cry. Then, she heard a voice say, "Come Love, I will take you with me." It was an elder. Love felt so blessed and overjoyed that she forgot to ask the elder his name. When they arrived on land the elder went on his way. Love realized how much she owed the elder. Love then found Knowledge and asked, "Who was it that helped me?" "It was Time", Knowledge answered. "But why did Time help me when no one else would?", Love asked. Knowledge smiled and with deep wisdom and sincerity, answered, "Because only Time is capable of understanding how great Love is."

I was coming home saturday evening after a hectic day and found a small bag on the ground. I opened it and behold what I found inside; $20,000 dollars!! Fear first catch me, but I took the bag home and when ...I emptied It, I found some Documents, ID card, ATM card and an Iphone. I thought about throwing the sim away and keep the phone and also dispose the documents and keep the money. After a long thought, I decided to leave things as they were, hoping that the owner would call. Not long after a call came through on the Iphone, I picked and talked with the caller. Apparently it was the owner of the bag coz he named absolutely every content of the bag. We met afterwards and i handed him the bag. he offered me $2,000 dollars but I turned it down , he collected my number and i left. Yesterday he called me and offered me a job at Chevron worth 750,000 Naira per month, a 3 bedroom flat fully furnished, and a 2012 BMW X6 As I was smiling and testing the car my brother just slapped me and said "Oya Oya Oya Wake up eba don ready.

Akpos Story! You won't believe what happened to me yesterday night. I was coming back from somewhere around 9pm when i saw this beautiful damsel approaching me. She has the the beatiful face of Beyonce, The sumptious lips of Angelina Jolie, The backside like that of Kim Kardashian, The curves were like that of Mercy Johnson, She got the height like that of Angela Okorie, Her eyes were as beautiful as that of Ini Edo, She got the forehead of Rihanna, With bumper front package like that of Cossy Orjiakor. She was looking innocent like Gennevieve Nnaji. I knew i had to talk to her, it will be the greatest mistake if i allow her pass without talking. So i said "Hi" She didn't replied but she smiled.. So i continued "My name is Ocha, i will love to talk to you but am in a hurry right now, pls can i get your contact so that i can call you for us to meet?" She smiled again and said "Ok, ZERO HATE ZERO, TIRI TIRI HATE, SEFUN TWO TIRI, NOI NOI.. NA MY HENTIHEN LINE BE DIS. YOU WANT MY SAIN LINE?" I fainted!!

akpor's mind is not in the class where a teacher is teaching them,the teacher observed this and resorted to checking him with some questions,here are the excerpts of their discussion.Teacher:akpor,who is nig.'s pres.?akpor:i don't know ma.Teacher:akpor,u need to focus more on your studies.Akpor:may i ask some questions ma?teacher:yes,go ahead.akpor:who is dolapo?teacher:i don't know.akpor:ok then,who is angela,joy and halima?teacher:i don't know also.akpor:ma,you need to focus more on your HUSBAND

Akpos got admitted into my village school, Atanatene Grammar School. The best school in my village. It was his first day in the school and an inspector of Education came visiting. The CRS teacher was in class telling us the story of DANIEL IN THE LION'S DEN when he sighted the principal and the inspector heading towards the class. The old and forgetful CRS teacher wrote GENESIS as the topic on the board without thinking. Class: Good mooooooorning sir, we are happy to see you sir. Inspector: Good morning class, i can see your teacher is telling you what happened in the book of genesis?. Class: Yeeeeeeeees sir!. Inspector (pointing to Akpos): Ok, you there, who killed Abel?. Akpos: Sir i don't know, i have been in the class since 8am, ask my friend Ofego, i didn't kill Abel sir. Inspector (angry): I said who killed Abel? Akpos: I am a christian, i don't kill. I don't even know this Abel you are talking about, is he in our class?. Inspector (Turning to the Teacher): Ok Teacher can you tell the class who killed Abel? Teacher (Knees down and open his hands wide): My son, How can you expect me to kill, what example will i be showing to my students if i kill a person?. Inspector (disappointed and turns to the principal): Ok class the principal will help to tell us who killed Abel. Mr principal, who killed Abel?. Principal: When you came to my office, didn't you see me there?. Inspector: Yes, i did!. Principal: Did you see blood stains in my hands?. Inspector: No!. Principal: How could i have killed Abel? Where is the proof that i did?. The whole class clapped for the principal.

Akpos' phone rings... Lady{on phone}: hi sir, i want to meet and talk to you. You are the father of one of my kids. Akpos stuned; OMG! Are you Jennifer? No Are you Anne? No Are you Josephine? No Are you Chichi? No Are you Chinyere? No Are you Omowunmi? No Are you Folashade? No Are you Hauwa? No Are you Mariam? No {after few seconds of silence} Are you Gabriella? Confused lady replied: No sir,i am the class teacher of your son One word for Akpos ??

Maiduguri: Nigerian troops killed 74 members of Boko Haram in an air and ground assault, the military said on Friday, a further sign of stepped up operations against the Islamist sect. The offensive on Thursday targeted Boko Haram camps in the remote villages of Galangi and Lawanti in northeast Borno state where the militants have their strongest presence. "The operation, which involved ground and aerial assault supported by the Nigerian Air Force led to the destruction of the identified terrorist camps, killing 74 terrorists while others fled with serious injuries," Lieutenant Colonel Mohammed Dole said in a statement. The army said it had killed 37 Islamists in a similar strike last week in another remote area of Borno. Nigerian forces have intensified attacks against Boko Haram since May, when President Goodluck Jonathan declared a state of emergency in three states in the northeast. Boko Haram is fighting to establish an Islamic state in religiously mixed Nigeria. While the offensive against it appears to have scattered the movement, it has also seen reprisal attacks against civilians suspected of cooperating with the authorities. Thousands have been killed since the sect launched its uprising against the state in 2009, turning itself from a clerical movement opposed to Western culture into an armed militia with links to al Qaeda's West African wing. The group is seen as the biggest security threat to Africa's top oil producer. Although their activities are located hundreds of miles away from its southern oil fields, they have bombed the capital Abuja at least three times, including a deadly attack on the United Nations' Nigeria headquarters in 2011.

Agagu plane crash; surviving technician gone: Associated Airlines’ aircraft technician who was among the five survivors of the October 3 crash that left 15 people dead in Lagos has passed on. He died at the Gbagada General Hospital, Lagos, where he had been receiving treatment. The development brought to 16 the number of dead victims of the ill-fated plane which crashed while conveying the remains of former governor of Ondo State, Olusegun Agagu, from Lagos to Akure. Sources at the hospital said the technician, Mr. Samson Fatoye, died at about 7pm on Wednesday. Fatoye, who suffered severe burns from the crash, had been treated in many hospitals before he was finally taken to the Gbagada hospital. The sources said Fatoye died few hours after immigration officials from Abuja arrived in the hospital with electronic data capturing machine to prepare passport for the survivors to travel overseas for further treatment. Our correspondent however learnt that the remaining four survivors, including the two cabin crew members, were captured, using the machine. The remaining survivors, it was learnt, might be flown to overseas any time soon. However, there were allegations that the survivors had been neglected by both the government and the management of the airline. There had been reports that one of the surviving flight attendants, Mrs. Quinneth Owolabi, whose 10 toes and five fingers were amputated days ago, had been in severe pains before and after the surgery. The National Cabin Crew Association had reportedly appealed to the Federal Government to fly her abroad for treatment to avoid the amputation. Serving and retired cabin crew executives had expressed anger over government’s refusal to come to the aid of the victim despite the appeal made by NACCA and the family. Spokesperson for the group, Mrs. Blessing Efe, had reportedly said that Owolabi would have been saved the trauma of amputation had government heeded her cries. Efe said, “It is unfortunate that no help came when Quinneth needed it most. Her toes and fingers were amputated three days ago (four days today). Imagine the trauma she is going through at the moment. “We want government to always support people who survive air crashes because the accident is not their making. “We are trying now to sensitise the public and government on the need to assist those who survive air crashes. It is not easy to survive air an accident.” The second surviving cabin crew member, Miss Toyin Samson, was said to be in a stable condition at the Lagos State University Teaching Hospital, Ikeja, where she has been on admission. credit: punch Say goodbye, if you have a heart

Akpos Joke: Obituary October 16, 2013 | By Akpos | Add a Comment Akpos and his son Akpos Jnr were listening to a radio broadcast. After some time, Akpos Jnr looked at his dad and said: Papa; these people are making a very big mistake. “Son what is the matter,” his father asked. Akpos Jnr replied saying,”When Mr Obi died, they announced ‘OBITU ARY’ and now Mr Okoro is dead, they are still announcing OBITUARY again instead of OKOROTUARY”

ins: I visited my Chinese friend dying in hospital. My chinese friend just kept saying "CHIN YU YAN" and he died: I had to go to ask an interpreter to find out the meaning of my friend's last words after his burial and i found out that it means "U RE STANDING ON THE OXYGEN TUBE" Please tell me who killed him?

Teacher; what is a verb? Akpos; a verb is a valve in a bicycle tyre Teacher; what are u saying? Akpos; its a complete sentence sir. Teacher; are u mad? Akpos; its a question sir . Teacher; dont be stupid Akpos; its an advice sir . Teacher; stop that nonsence! Akpos; its a command sir Teacher; U are an idiot Akpos; its an insult sir Teacher; get out of my class! Akpos; its an order sir Teacher; oh goodness!,,, what a boy!,,, Akpos; its an exclamation sir Teacher; may God have mercy on U Akpos; its a prayer sir …. (*the teacher fainted!!*)

A boat has sunk on the River Niger in central Nigeria, leaving at least 42 people dead, officials say. Rescue teams are searching for a further 100 people reported missing. Officials say the boat, which capsized on Friday evening, may have been overloaded, carrying twice the number of passengers allowed. Mohammed Shaba, head of the Niger State Emergency Management Agency, told AFP that the boat "split" in two after setting off from Malilli village. 'Lesson' Mr Shaba told the agency that it was the worst accident to hit the state in recent years. "We are going to learn a lesson from this," he said. He claimed that the boat was carrying too many traders and their goods after leaving a market in Malilli. The state official told the agency that high waters on the river could also have contributed to the accident. Share this story

Militants from the Nigerian terrorist group Boko Haram disguised themselves as soldiers and set up a checkpoint, at which they slit the throats of 19 people who stopped. Adamu Mallam knows that he is lucky to be alive. The Nigerian trader, travelling through the north east of the country, came across what looked to be an army checkpoint. But when he drew up and stopped his truck, he was ordered out and made to lie down – realising quickly that the men in military uniform were not soldiers, but members of the terrorist group Boko Haram. "They made me lie face down on the ground. I was next to be killed," said Mr Mallam. "I heard a man close to me screaming. They slaughtered him with a knife." RELATED ARTICLES Boko Haram terrorists were mistaken by students for soldiers Nigerian students killed in their sleep by Boko Haram gunmen Nigeria Islamists release video of French hostage Mr Mallam was saved when the militants received a phone call, and all sped off on their motorbikes – setting vehicles ablaze as they left. "I suspect they were alerted to a security presence so had to flee," another trader, with Mr Mallam, told Reuters. "That call saved our lives." The attack, on the road near the town of Logumani, 19 miles from the border with Cameroon, is but the latest in the long list of atrocities carried out by the Islamist militant group – whose name translates as "Western education is forbidden." Boko Haram, fighting to establish Sharia law in the north of Africa's most populous country, has stepped up the number and scale of attacks in the past two months, with hundreds of killings reported. President Goodluck Jonathan declared a state of emergency in the area in May, pouring in hundreds of extra troops. But the insurgents are far from defeated and they have begun using the new tactic of fake checkpoints to spread more fear. Suspected Boko Haram gunmen killed 159 people in two roadside attacks in northeast Nigeria last month, also involving fake checkpoints. Violence by the group is estimated to have cost more than 3,600 lives, including killings by the security forces. Mr Mallam's story of Sunday's attack was backed up by another passenger, who told AFP news agency his name was Buba. "We were asked to get out of our vehicles and lie face down by nine men dressed as soldiers who blocked the road around 5am," he said. "They shot dead five people and went about slaughtering 14 others before someone called them on the phone that soldiers were heading their way. "They abandoned the rest of us and sped into the bush on their motorcycles," added Buba, who was shot in the leg. He said the attack bore the hallmarks of Boko Haram. "We knew they were Boko Haram from their appearance. Soldiers don't wear beards but some of the gunmen were bearded," he said. "Everyone in this area knows Boko Haram is on the prowl, raiding villages and attacking vehicles. "It has become a common occurrence." MORE FROM THE TELEGRAPH Thousands of Britons claim dole in Germany Australia's most notorious killer makes final murder confession from deathbed College head 'hacked to death by pupils after he suspended them'

BREAKING NEWS!!! M JACKSON IS ALIVE M. Jackson has been spotted by cameras performing in one executive club in the city. M. Jackson is believed to have faked his death because he was having many cases against him including killing of children and he had many debts. Musoke Jackson a Kareoke singer in Kampala who was thought to have been killed last month with an iron bar is still alive. We will bring you more updates and his photos!!

Akpors just got admitted to the village school, AKPAROROROKO GRAMMAR SCHOOL d best school d d village and it was his first day in school an inspector was visiting. The CRK teacher was in class telling them the story of DANEIL IN THE LION'S DEN when the sighted the principal and the inspector heading towards the class. The Old and forgetful CRK teacher wrote GENESIS as the topic on the board without thinking. Class: Good mooooooorning sir, we are happy to see u sir Inspector: good morning class, i can see your teacher is telling you what happened in the book of genesis? Class: yeeeeeeeees sir Inspector(pointing to Akpors): ok, you there, who killed Abel? Akpors: Sir i don't know, i have been in the class since 8am ask my friend Amos, i didn't killed Abel sir. Inspector(angry): i said who killed Abel? Akpors: I am a christian, i can't kill. i don't even know this Abel you are talking of, is he in our class? Inspector(turning to the teacher): ok teacher can you tell the class who killed Abel? Teacher(knees down and open his hands wide): My son, How did you expect me to kill, what example will i be laying to my students if i kill a person? Inspector(dissappointed turns to the principal): ok class the principal will help to tell us who killed Abel. Mr principal, who killed Abel? Principal: when u came to my office, did'nt you see me there? Inspector: I did Principal: Did u see blood stains in my hands? Inspector: No Principal: How could i have killed Abel? where is the proof that i did? And the whole class clapped for the principal, d inspector fainted.

Student Attempts Suicide Over ASUU Strike .. The ongoing strike of the Academic Staff Union of Universities, ASUU took a different turn on Saturday at the Dutse-Alhaji area of Abuja when a female student of the University of Abuja made to hang herself in protest of the nearly four months old strike. The female student identified as Jane Okoro had already hanged herself, but fell off the ceiling while struggling, apparently because the rope she used was not strong enough.

the aviation minister had compelled the Nigerian Civil Aviation Authority, NCAA, to purchase two BMW cars worth N255 million for her. Expectedly, the story went viral on the internet for days before the Ministry of Aviation confirmed to a national newspaper recently that the cars had been bought for the minister because her life is under real and imminent threat. The newspaper quoted Mr. Joe Obi, Special Assistant on Media to the Minister, as saying that the two armoured BMW cars were to protect his boss from "imminent threats." The Africa Network for Environment and Economic Justice (ANEEJ) condemns the Minister of Aviation for  the  profligacy and corrupt  use of public funds to purchase  two BMW armoured  cars. It presents the Minister as Janus, the Italian god of wine with double-faced, speaking with two mouths. The Minister of Aviation at the public hearing organised by the National Assembly over the controversial  grounding of the Rivers State Government Aircraft, had told the prying assemblymen that  she does not control  the operations of the Nigerian Civil Aviation Authority, NCAA, the same agency where she collected N255m to purchase two cars for her personal security without such amount being appropriated in the 2013 budget of the Ministry of Aviation for that purpose." ANEEJ Executive Director , Rev. David Ugolor has said. "We are shocked at the level of  provocative extravagance of  Mrs. Stella Oduah who described the two major air crashes that have occurred under her watchful eyes  recently as “inevitable acts of God.” We deplore a situation where energy and resources that ought to  have been used to secure Nigeria airspace, as being canvassed by all stakeholders is being unwittingly deployed for self service and preservation by the minister. "Nigerians are obviously worried over an emerging trend where serving Federal Government Ministers financially strangulate and unduly interfere in the smooth operations and  efficient running of agencies under their ministries. This scenario  is also playing out between the Nigeria National Petroleum Corporation (NNPC) and the Ministry of Petroleum resources without necessary checks by the presidency or the assembly men. It is detestable that government keeps shielding these officials as sacred cows while corruption flourishes under their nose. "Now that the wind has blown open and the rot in the aviation sector exposed, we call on the Presidency and the National Assembly  statutorily charged with oversight duties to swing into action and bring all those involved in the car scandal to justice." Ugolor demanded.. "We need to know what has become of the due process office in our country, if procurement of such an alarming level would have been authorised by an agent of government," adds Innocent Edemanrhia, ANEEJ policy Officer. "It is reprehensible that at a time university teachers are on strike for over a semester over poor funding of the Nigerian public universities, and the same government tells them that it has no money, is where one minister will spend a whooping N255m in the purchase of only two cars! It is shameful that this is happening   in a  country where unemployment and poverty is plaguing over 60 per cent of its population?"  Edemanrhia asserts. While calling for the immediate resignation or sacking of the aviation minister, ANEEJ  Policy Officer also called for a thorough probe of the sleaze in the aviation sector with a view to bringing all those involved to book.

ASUU strike has increased prostitution, group alleges on october 19, 2013 at 8:09 am in news COALITION of Civil Society Organizations, Market women and students have staged a protest with placards of different inscriptions at the Federal Capital Territory, FCT, Abuja, over the continuous strike  by the Academic Staff Union of Universities, ASUU, alleging that the strike has increased prostitution in the country. The group which noted that the strike was entering the fourth month appealed to the Nigerian Labour Congress, NLC, the Trade Union Congress, TUC and appealed to the union to call off the strike in the interest of  Nigerians. Some of the placards read, “ASUU please save our young girls from prostitution, NLC, TUC and NUPENG mediate now, Stop playing politics with our future, This ASUU strike has lost its tactics, ASUU please save our future.” Though, the group   in some of the placards had accused the striking university teachers of being selfish and too rigid in their demands, in what looked like a contradiction, the groups also said that the demands were germane and for the good of the education system. Delivering a letter to the NLC President at the Labour House, the leader of the protest and Executive Director of Conscience Nigeria, Comrade Tosin Adeyanju said that they decided to embark on the protest to appeal to the labour leaders to mediate on the lingering face-off between ASUU and the Federal Government that had led to the continuous closure of public universities in the country. Comrade Adeyanjul said, “We embarked on this protest today to further appeal to all major stakeholders in the Nigeria project and we deem it fit to come to the labour house because of the strategic importance that labour represents in this country. “For almost 100 days, our students, our dependants, our children have been locked out of our ivory towers and nothing has changed. We are here to appeal to the  labour leaders in this country to come and mediate on the lingering and prolonged ASUU strikes. “We are not unaware on the germane and relevant issues raised by ASUU, there is need for our institutions to be revitalized, there is need for improved research, there is need for improved allowance, there is need for infrastructural development in ivory towers, but all over the world no country has been able to meet the demands of labour unions 100 per cent.” “With the information available to us, we are aware that the federal government proposed and has given ASUU a 100 billion initial fund requested for different issues in the various universities. We are aware that ASUU appealed for more money to be given on the earned allowance and 30 billion was given for earned allowance as at today about 130 billion has been given to ASUU.” Receiving the protesters, President of NLC, Abduwaheed Omar, represented by the Chief Economist of NLC, Dr. Peter Ozo’eson said that the labour leaders had initiated moves by writing to the Federal government about four times on how to mediate but government had not responded to their letters.

Different Technologies & Their Founders....... 1. Google: Larry Page & Sergey Brin 2. Facebook: Mark Zuckerberg 3. Yahoo: David Filo & Jerry Yang 4. Twitter: Jack Dorsey & Dick Costolo 5. Internet: Tim Berners Lee 6. Linkdin: Reid Hoffman, Allen Blue & Koonstantin Guericke 7. Email: Shiva Ayyadurai 8. Gtalk: Richard Wah kan 9. Whats up: Laurel Kirtz 10. Hotmail: Sabeer Bhatia 11. Orkut: Buyukkokten 12. Wikipedia: Jimmy Wales 13. You tube: Steve Chen, Chad Hurley & Jawed Karim 14. Rediffmail: Ajit Balakrishnan 15. Nimbuzz: Martin Smink & Evert Jaap Lugt 16. Myspace: Chris Dewolfe & Tom Anderson 17. Ibibo: Ashish Kashyap 18. OLX: Alec Oxenford & Fabrice Grinda 19. Skype: Niklas Zennstrom,JanusFriis & Reid Hoffman 20. Opera: Jon Stephenson von Tetzchner & Geir lvarsoy 21. Mozilla Firefox: Dave Hyatt & Blake Ross 22. Blogger: Evan Willams

Akpos ask his wife, Akpos: who is the biological father to Junior and Daniel?. Akpos wife: what sort of stupid question is that?...you are thier father.. Akpos: you better take those two kids to thier father.. Akpos wife: honey,why do you say that they are not your kids?.. Akpos: because every night when they are about to pray before sleeping they will say: `OUR FATHER,WHO ART IN HEAVEN' Describe Akpors in 1 word

Akpos picked up a blackberry Z10 in a taxi. He checked through the contacts and found "MY number 2" then he called it and luckily the owner answered "Wow! Thank God! Where did you pick the phone" Akpos quickly interrupted "not so fast lady, please give me your address." "You want to bring the phone? Wow that's so nice of you. If only this country was full of good people like you..." Akpos interrupted "What nonsense are you saying? I want to come and collect the charger!" if it wia d owner wat wil u do wen u c akpos

Akpos wanted to use his ATM card but the machine kept on rejecting the card. A frustrated Akpos called his bank help line. Akpos : (angrily) So what's wrong with my ATM card. Call girl : Sir, I have checked your account, everything is alright here and You should be able to use your card, are you sure your card is not damaged or broken? Akpos : Are you insane? What are You insinuating? No one takes good care of their ATM card like I do. Call girl : Okay Sir, are you also sure the surface isn't wet or stained with dirt? Akpos : You dey mad? ATM card when I dey pet like egg. As a matter of fact, I even laminated it last week when I laminated my Identity card. Call girl : Did you just said LAMINATE? Akpos : Of course Yes!!! Admin: if u are d call girl what will you tell akpos?

I know at least 8 Things about you 1. You can't wash your eyes with soap. 2. You can't count your hair. 3. You can't breathe through your nose with your tongue out. 4. You just tried no.3 6. When you did no.3, you realized that it's possible. Only that you look like a dog. 7. You are smiling right now because you were fooled. 8.You skipped no.5 9. You just checked to see if there is a no.5 Hahahaaa.. got u!!

AKPOS LAUGH TIME!!! A Nigerian mother was lucky enough to see her 3 daughters get married the same year, so she called them after the wedding and told them "Dont forget to text me your first night experience and text it in code" So....... after a week, the 1st daughter texted "NESCAFE" and the next week the 2nd daughter text "BENSON" the mother being an intelligent woman went to get a Nescafe tin and read the label "fantastic till the last drop" went to her husband's pack of Benson cigarette and read "Extra long, king size" she smiled and said "not bad for their ages". After the next week, the 3rd daughter texted "NAIROBI-MOMBASA", the mother then called Kenya airways helpdesk to enquire about their Nairobi-Mombasa flight and they replied "it's 3times daily, 7days a week, and the flight duration is 75mins". The mother fell down and shouted. "igweeeeeeeee!!! This one will kill my daughter yoooooooh..

Akpos enters a barber shop. The barber whispers to his customer: BARBER: This is the dumbest boy in the world. Watch while I prove it to you. The barber puts a N50 note in one hand and two N10 notes in the other, then calls the boy and asks: BARBER: Which do you want, boy? Akpos takes the two N10 notes and leaves. BARBER: What did I tell you? Akpos never learns! Minutes later, when the customer left, he sees Akpos coming out of the ice cream store. CUSTOMER: Akpos, May I ask you a question? Why did you take the N10 notes instead of the N50 note? Akpos replied, "Because the day I take the fifty naira note, the game is over!"

LAUGH OUT Papa Akpos: My pikin say you drive am commot for school, Wetin he do? Akpos'Teacher :- Your son is not brilliant at all, he cant even spell "LION" ... Papa Akpos : Ah Ah...You know say na SMALL pikin......You for tell am make he spell SMALL ANIMALS like " MOSQUITO or COCKROACH". ================ Any word for Papa Akpos?

HOW TO KNOW IF WITCHES &WIZARD DEY FOLLOW YOU FROM YOUR VILLAGE; IF: • after entering a bus, it gets to your turn to pay your fare and you can’t find your money • If you downloading 5GB of data and it Fails at 99% • If you buy a bold 6 for 90k today and the next day the price drops to 20k • You win 100millon, u put am 4 bank, next week d bank declare bankrupt • your first day in a restaurant, after eating fish, the bone hang for your throat • If after working for 30 days, you got fired without salary • After selling your fathers property to go abroad, and you still got deported few weeks later • if you take cheat into the exam hall, and cant understand your own handwriting • If after 6 abortions and d guy still ends up not marrying you • if you submit expo with your answer sheet • when ur friend wey just come back from America give u cheque & did not remember to sign Before going back.

Joba: Akpos, why are you always on Facebook? Akpos: I like Facebook & I'm always there for one thing. It's the only place where you can like another man's wife without getting slapped. Joba: So, what about Twitter, why are you always there too? Akpos: Twitter is the only place you can follow another man's wife for free!

The Senior Staff Association of Nigerian Universities (SSANU) has announced the suspension of its week-long strike. The suspension of the strike is contained in a statement issued in Abuja on Friday and signed by the association’s National Secretary, Mr Promise Adewusi. It said that the decision to suspend the strike was informed by the Federal Government’s compliance with the association’s demands. “Following substantial compliance to our demand for the payment of August and September salaries of our members which is the reason for our current national strike action, we hereby suspend the strike and direct all our members to return to their duties with effect from Monday, the 14th of October, 2013.” The statement thanked members of the association for their solidarity, adding that the non payment of the salaries of its members for work done would not happen again. (NAN) VNTI SSANU

A terrorist entered a church one Sunday and told the congregation that he is going to kill them one by one alphabetically until all his bullets is used up. He then approached the pastor and asked of his name. "My name is ZEMMANUEL" said the pastor, the catechist said "mine is ZION Z. ZEZEKIEL and that of the treasureR is ABRAHAM AGNES". The treasureRT then shouted "he is lying, my name is ZABRAHAM ZAGNES" What name would you have mentioned if you were in the church that day?

Akpos and oghene entered a chocolate shop where oghene stole 3 bars of chocolate n hid dem in his pocket. After dey left d shop,oghene show Akpos his loot and said,"i'm a gud thief." Akpos said "wel,let's go back 2 d shop n i wil show u d rite way 2 steal." Wen dey went back,Akpos asked d shop boi,"do u want 2 c a magic trick?",d shop boi replied,"yes,show me." So akpos asked for 3 bars of chocolate n ate dem all,after which d shop boi requsted,"where is d magic,where r my chocolate?" Akpos simply replied,"check my friend's pocket,u wil find dem"

A drunk 18 year old boy asked a married woman out. The woman got so pissed she went to tell her husband about the encounter. The husband told the woman to invite the boy over so that he could beat the hell out of him, he would hide under the bed as he waited for him. The woman did as her husband requested. When the boy got there he kissed the woman and took of his T-shirt and his body was full of scars. So the woman asked, "Why so many scars?" The boy replied,"I always lay with married women and usually when I get caught I kill the husband, if someone shows up now he will be number 20 on my murder list!" The boy continued kissing the woman and undressing her. The woman tried to reach out for her husband under the bed and a small voice came out,"If you tell him am here, I'll kill you before he kills me! Just co-operate!"

In the last few weeks, NigeriaOnPoint.Com observed that the internet was awash with the story of a big boy who is said to be very successful and has one of the biggest this, and the most expensive that. His is name is Okwudili "Dilly" and sources say he moves around with a POLICE escort. But information the guy is not clean has surfaced. He is a confirmed 'Yahoo Yahoo thief' who confessed to all his criminal actions in court and was sentenced to prison in the US. Below is the story of Okwudili: An American federal jury has convicted a Nigerian man, Oluyomi Oshinaike of two counts of bank fraud for a scam authorities say involved more than a million dollars in altered corporate checks. Senior U.S. District Judge Charles Butler Jr. scheduled Oshinaike’s sentencing for Feb. 15. Under advisory sentencing guidelines, he faces a prison term of at least 2½ years and as much as 3 years and a month. Okwudili “Cowboy” "Dilly" Umenyiora, who has already pleaded guilty to the bank fraud, also testified that he convinced Oluyomi Oshinaike to recruit people who were willing to allow checks to be deposited into their bank accounts. “His job was to go out and find the accounts,” he testified. Okwudili testified the account holders would be told a cover story similar to solicitations many people get via e-mail. The tale would be that a person in Nigeria needed help getting money into the United States. Assistant US Attorney E.T. Rolison said in his closing argument that it is a classic Nigeria scam. "The reason you call it that is because they say, ‘My father is in Nigeria.’ They come up with that story,” he said. Okwudili confessed that he would pay a postal worker at a mail-sorting center in Atlanta $500 for corporate bank checks, each. He said he did not know the man’s name, but a man by the name of Andrew Bryant Gunn has pleaded guilty in federal court in Atlanta in connection with the plot and will be sentenced next month. Okwudili told jurors he would take the checks to a man named Guy Taylor, who would change the payee line. He would then give the checks to partners who would in turn deposit them into bank accounts. He said the bank account holder would be allowed to keep 15 percent of the value of the. Taylor would get 10 percent and the postal worker was paid 10 percent to 15 percent, Okwudili testified. Mobile resident Rosa Gullett testified that she agreed to allow Oshinaike, whom she knew as “Abdul,” to use her account. She said she met Oshinaike through her sister, who was dating him at the time. Her mother, Kim Williams, testified that she allowed him to use her account, too. That’s not Okwudili's first brush with the long arm of the law, it seems he’s been a career criminal for over a decade as his mugshot from 2001 attests. In light of this, it was with great amazement (and amusement) that people read the "sweet" story about him on the social media and Nigerians were praising him (the original story has now been deleted, but GOOGLE is your friend). Not only was he praised for being a ‘Super Model’ in his looks, given major props for his ‘swag’, but it seems he also drove up in a Lamborghini, escorted by MOPOL.

We just receieved answer form our great fan.u can NW get ur London use ram At ikeja computer village.d one wey dey okay.

Akpors who was a houseboy usually sneaks into his Oga's room, drinks his wine and adds water to top it up. One day his Oga bought a new wine called pasties, it was a french wine that changes colour if water is added onto it. Akpors unaware of this, sneaks into his Oga's room, drank the new wine and added water on it. Immediately it started changing colour. ... Akpors: I am in trouble, big trouble. He ran to the kitchen. Meanwhile, oga and madam were sitted in the parlour, while Akpors was in the kitchen. ... OGA: Akpors Akpors: Oga OGA: who drank my pasties?. No answer! OGA: Akpors, who drank my pasties?. No answer. Oga walked to the kitchen and saw Akpors there. OGA: Are you insane or what?. Why when i call, you say "Oga" but when i ask you a question you don't answer me. Akpors: Oga when you are in the kitchen you don't understand anything except your name. OGA: Is that so?. Okay go to the parlour, stand beside madam and ask me a questionwhile i stand here. Akpors went and did what oga said. Akpors: Ogaaaaaa OGA: Yes Akpors Akpors: Who goes into the maid's bedroom when madam is not at home?. No answer. Akpors: Ogaaaaaa!!! You dey hear me, i say who dey sneak enter the house girl room when madam no dey house. No answer. Oga runs out of the kitchen. OGA: Wonders shall never end. Akpors, it is true o, when one is in the kitchen, one does not hear anything, except one's name. MADAM: That's not true. It's a lie. Akpors: Madam, do you want to be tested?. MADAM: Yes Akpors: Oya enter the kitchen She enters. Akpors: Madam MADAM: Yes Akpors Akpors: Who is Junior's biological Father?. Me or Oga Madam rushed out of the kitchen MADAM: This kitchen needs to be fumigated o, i can't understand anything at all.

Akpors was sitting at a bar, and thinking about his life, when all of a sudden, Ironman, the town's most notorious thug smacks Akpors in the face and says "Thats KUNG FU, made in Japan". A while later, Ironman the thug smacks Akpors again and says "That's KARATE, made in Korea", then sat at the bar and started drinking. Akpors got up and leaves the bar. A short time later he comes back and smacks Ironman the thug, knocking him out cold and he said to the barman "When that IMBECILE wakes up, tell him that was a SHOVEL made in ABA....

Manager:- what is your name? Akpors:- M.P sir Manager:- tell me properly! Akpors:- Michael Peter sir Manager:- your father's name? Akpors:- M.P sir Manager:- what does that mean? Akpors:- Moses Peter sir Manager:- your native place? Akpors: M.P sir Manager:- is it Makurdi Purum? Akpors:- No, Minna Port sir Manager:- what is your qualification? Akpors:- M.P sir Manager:- (angry) what is it?! Akpors:- Metric Pass Manager:- so why do you need a job? Akpors:- M.P sir Manager: meaning? Akpors:- Money Problem sir Manager:- what is your personality? Akpors:- M.P sir Manager:- would you explain yourself and stop wasting my time? Akpors:- Monacrotic Personality Manager:- I see... I will get back to you. Akpors:- sir, how's my M.P? Manager:- and what's that again? Akpors:- My Performance. Manager:- M.P ! Akpors:- m.e.a.n.i.n.g? Manager:- Mental Problem!! One word for Akpors

W-O-N-D-E-R-S!!! Do you Know that ONDO-STATE Incumbent Governors Always Bury Their Predecessors? Former Governor Onyearugbulem Buried Ajasin, Former Governor Adefarati Buried Onyearugbulem and Otiko Former Governor Agagu Buried Adefarati. Incubent Governor Mimiko Is Burying Agagu. Confusion and wonders of Ondo state Govt House.

An English teacher asks her students 2 name an animal that starts with the word "E". Akpors says Elephant. Teacher asks again an animal that starts with "T". Akpors says "Two elephants" He was chased out of the class for misbehaving. She asks again an animal that starts with the word "M". Akpors outside screams "Maybe an elephant"...... ... Its Friday Jokes TillDawn!!!

AKPORS ADHERES TO INSTRUCTION!! Akpors' elder brother, Rukewe, travelled to London months ago, leaving behind Akpors, their aged mom & their pet cat, kelly. Last week Rukewe called from London to know how they're doing. RUKEWE: Akpors how are u all doing, how's kelly(cat)? AKPORS: Kelly is dead. RUKEWE (after a pause): Akpors u shouldn't have told me dis bad news straightly, atleast u shouldn't have gone straight to d point. U would have just said dat d cat fall inside well but the neighbours are trying to rescue him. Den when I call again, u will say he broke his neck but d vet doctor are trying revive him. Then when i call again, u will say dey tried their best but dey couldn't save him. Thats how dey reveal bad news in a mature way. Do u hear me? AKPORS: Yes bros. RUKEWE: Ok. how is mother too? AKPORS: Bros. mum fell inside well o, but neighbours are trying to rescue her. (Phone cuts) Rukewe has been admitted in a private hospital in London after going into coma.

BEST OF AKPOS . . . A Lady Lawyer holds Akpos dick out as Evidence saying "ur Honor can tis tiny tin Rape"?..Akpors; *whispers* Don't shake it, we may lose d case. A Doctor was giving a Speech on Alcohol.. DOC: People, you know Alcohol kills slowly... Akpos: Who told you we are in a hurry? Teacher: Does anyone else ve a question about the 9 planets. Akpos: Yes, Where is urANUS... Question: Whats the biggest thing u can do for our Love?.. EKAETTE: I would die for u, wat about u?.. Akpors: I ll cry when you Die. Police: Sir, This is Non Smoking Zone... Akpors: Ah! am not smoking 'Zone', its 'Marijuana' that is how you people lie on someone. Teacher: What do you call a Pot of Watery Egusi Soup?.. Akpors: Watermelon Sule : Bros y u dey wrap ur phone wit black handkerchief? Akpors: Rukewe dey owe me money so I dey hide my number before I call am Teacher: Akpors finish this sentence.. 'Many are called but .........?.. Akpors: But only few have credit to call back. Akpors: 2,3,4,6,7,8,9.. TEACHER: Where is 5?. Akpors: Yesterday, I heard on the News tat 5 died in a Car Accident. Police: Ur wife had an accident, plz come & identify d body.. Akpors: I'm busy, take a pix & tag me on FACEBOOK, If it's her I ll click 'LIKE' Police: Where do u live?. Akpors: Wit my Parents. Police: Where do they live?. Akpors: Wit me. Police: So where do u all live?. Akpors: 2geda Teacher: Who are the IDIOTS talking oya stand up, Only Akpors Stood up.. Teacher: So u are the Idiot?.. Akpors: No Ma, I Just can't bear u Standing up alone. Papa Akpors: How did your Exam go?.. Akpors: They gave me questions that I don't know so I wrote answers which they won't know Teacher: If have 15 Sweets & I licked 12, what do I have left?.. Akpors : Diabetes Ma Akpors: Went to the hospital to complain Doc i play Football in my Dream every Nite.. Doc: Take tis Tablet, U ll be ok.. Akpors: Can I take it tomorrow, cos tonite is the Final Game Presenter: Mr Akpors, what advice do you have for your Fans in 2013.. Akpors : If Two Wrongs don't make a Right, try Three Teacher : Name the types of wood we have.. Akpors: Fire-wood, Nolly-wood, Bolly- wood and Holly- wood Madam; Hope Junior has Eaten?.. Akpors: Yes Ma, I even added small Dettol inside his drinking water to kill the germs... Cos "if I don't take care of him who will" Madam: Fainted... Teacher: Why do you always see lightning first and hear the thunder later?.. Akpos : Because your eyes are in front of your ears

ADURA HOUR (1) waa gbadura!! Wa pariwo tooooooooo!!, wa kigbe bi eni ti won fi kondo lu; Wa wipe !!**ASUU KINI MO SEEEE!!** fi aye ati eko mi sille--aduraaaaa!!! (2) wa fo soke bi eni ti asa (hawk) gbe visa e lo. lee meeje (7 times)!!, wa kigbe FAGGAE! Oya je ki ori e pe.........adura-- (3) waa pariwooo pankere ooooo!! ni igba meje !! Wa sope, oya wa na jonathan legba bi ole (thief)!!-----adura (4) haaaaaa asiko ti fe lootan (u better gbaadura ko ma ba gbadura)....wa kigbe OLORUN OOOOOOO!!!! Maje ki n fi arugbo ara se Convocation!!!!.....gbaladura----- MA FI ADURA YII SERE...... Jowo GBA pelu awe (fastng) ki o SEND re SI AWON ORE RE..... Oti dara Fun e Loruko Jesu.

I Can Walk Akpos was on his way to school when he alighted at station he was supposed to take taxi to the school AKPOS: How much is the fare to the campus? DRIVER: Two Cedis. AKPOS: What about my load? DRIVER: I will take no money for that. AKPOS: Then take my load to the school I can walk.

AKPOS: Your teeth are like the stars. EKAETTE: Awwwww, thanks are they that pretty? AKPOS: No, they are far away from each other!

Military Mess A man drove past a military road block and the officers asked him to pull over. The man started shouting at them "Do you know who I am? Ehn! Do you know..." One officer interrupted "hey, you see those blocks at the other side of the road? They are 200 you are going to bring them here". After they beating him, they made him carry the blocks. He had carried 191 blocks, when their Akpos, a superior officer passed by, noticing what was happening, he pulled over. The man recognized Akpos, his former class mate, he beckoned to him "Akpos, thank God, you're here." "What is the meaning of this!? Who asked you to carry this blocks?" Akpos screamed. The man pointed at the officers that made him do it. Akpos turned to them "You all are in serious trouble!" then he turned back to his former classmate "Sorry for the misunderstanding, how many blocks did they make you carry?" "191 blocks. Can you imagine?" the man said. "Ok, you know what, just return the blocks and you can be on your way"

Age Potion A couple received a letter from their daughter who went to study modern physics overseas, the letter read: "My beloved Parents, I miss you so much and it breaks my heart to think that by the time I get back you'll be too old. So enclosed you'll find a bottle of potion I have invented. It will make you young, so when I return you'll be the same age as I left you. NOTE: Please take only a drop" So they opened the envelope and in it there is a bottle with a red potion. the man looked at the wife and says: "You go first." (typical of men!) So the wife takes a drop thereafter, the husband follows. Indeed the wife turn five years younger. Years later the daughter returns home to find her mother young and pretty, carrying a baby on her back. The mother proceeds to tell her daughter how the potion worked and made her look young. The daughter was delighted and asks after her dad. MOTHER: Your father? Hmm, my child, your father was so jealous that I was so young and beautiful so he drank the whole bottle. DAUGHTER: What? So where is he? MOTHER: Hahaha, who do you think is the baby on my back?

Age Potion A couple received a letter from their daughter who went to study modern physics overseas, the letter read: "My beloved Parents, I miss you so much and it breaks my heart to think that by the time I get back you'll be too old. So enclosed you'll find a bottle of potion I have invented. It will make you young, so when I return you'll be the same age as I left you. NOTE: Please take only a drop" So they opened the envelope and in it there is a bottle with a red potion. the man looked at the wife and says: "You go first." (typical of men!) So the wife takes a drop thereafter, the husband follows. Indeed the wife turn five years younger. Years later the daughter returns home to find her mother young and pretty, carrying a baby on her back. The mother proceeds to tell her daughter how the potion worked and made her look young. The daughter was delighted and asks after her dad. MOTHER: Your father? Hmm, my child, your father was so jealous that I was so young and beautiful so he drank the whole bottle. DAUGHTER: What? So where is he? MOTHER: Hahaha, who do you think is the baby on my back?

Plastic Surgery AKPOS: What is the cost of the plastic surgery? DOCTOR: Its about N 900,000. AKPOS: What!? Doctor that's too expensive. Okay...err...what if I bring the plastic?

AKPOS: What is the cost of the plastic surgery? DOCTOR: Its about N 900,000. AKPOS: What!? Doctor that's too expensive. Okay...err...what if I bring the plastic?

Details surrounding the death of Prophet Ajanaku, the former pastor of Tope Alabi has been released. The founder and pastor in charge of the Christ Revival Church International located in Baruwa in Ayobo-Ipaja, Lagos, died in his sleep on Saturday August 17, 2013. It was gathered that the controversial prophet died in his sleep on Saturday after a nurse administered sedatives to calm down his nerves after his situation got worse. He reportedly didn’t wake up from his sleep.  His dead body was brought into his house in Lagos from his hometown (Gbogan) on Sunday evening. According to sources, the elegant preacher reportedly fell ill about 8 weeks ago and after all medical methods to get him well proved abortive, he was taken to his home town for traditional treatment. Throughout his downtime, his church members were told he’d travelled abroad to rest not knowing he had been taken to his hometown. This was the reason for his absence at the church’s anniversary on the 18th of July, 2013. During the church service yesterday, most of his church members didn’t believe he has died with many calling his death a hoax. Most of them argued that he could not have died, insisting that he travelled abroad to rest due to his hectic schedules. According to reliable sources, some of his church members were hostile to news men who visited the church to confirm this report.. Late Prophet Ajanaku’s corpse was taken to a local mortuary around 11am on Monday morning. A member of the congregation was seen directing another member to arrange for security personnel  to accompany the corpse to the mortuary. Church members who trooped to the home of the man they called ‘Daddy’, were directed to report at the church at Baruwa while the top leaders of the church were planning to take the corpse to the mortuary. Late Prophet Ajanaku became popular after his association with gospel singer Tope Alabi. The two split over sex allegations few weeks before his death. Tope Alabi  who is currently in Toronto, Ontario Canada was one of the earliest callers at the residence of the deceased on Sunday. In another development, a neigbhour to late Prophet Ajanaku said his followers believe he’ll come back to life. As a result, several prayer sessions have been held since he died. “He died since Saturday, but the church members have decided to keep sealed lips.Instead, they have engaged in marathon prayer sessions. They held a vigil on Saturday where they prayed fervently for him to resurrect, but nothing happened. “The church members were shouting: ‘Prophet Ajanaku, wake up’ throughout Saturday night,” Mrs. Rita Ade said. Unknown to the public, Late Prophet Ajanaku was arrested and detained few months ago by security officials after an embarrassing public fight with Tope Alabi. Weeks after his arrest, he reportedly fell ill and the rest is history. Late Prophet Ajanaku was a muslim man with a solid Islamic background. He converted to Christianity on arriving Lagos few years back. According to his profile, the late preacher tagged Bad boy for satan was denied access to basic education. He didn’t attend primary, secondary or university. “Illiteracy was a big title for him because of his chronic state. He understood and could communicate in Yoruba language only.” He later attended the Winners Church Bible school He is survived by a wife, aged mother and children (a boy and a girl). Source @Naij

Akpos is in the news again. This time, Akpos has enrolled for adult education. His reason, “I must learn this English language very well. I want to go to this London like Osuofia and Jenifa. I cannot carry last” . Akpos 6 Day 1 at School So on his first day at school, the first class was English Language. The teacher called on Akpos and asked him:- Teacher: Akpos, make a Sentence with “Big” Akpors: The Ram Is Big Teacher: Make it longer Akpos: The Ram is big ooooooo Teacher was like , “WHAAAAAT!!!!”. The Teacher recovered and continued with his questions: - Teacher: Behind every successful man there is a woman. What do we learn from this? Akpors: We should stop wasting time in studies and find that WOMAN Teacher: Get out of my Class, Akpos

Akpos bounced out of the class, not sure what to do. Somehow, he made his way to the library. Once inside, he spotted a very pretty girl reading quietly. He quickly approached her and started wooing her right in the library. Oh Akpos! After some minutes, the girl got angry and shouted, “Will you please leave me alone so that I can concentrate? Everybody turned and looked at Akpos. Akpos 1 So what did Akpos do? Akpos gazed her intently and replied in a loud voice: “I will not leave you alone until you accept Jesus as your Lord and personal Saviour!” Wow!!! Akpos will not kill somebody oooooo! Day 2 at School Immediately Akpos entered the class, the teacher stopped him at the door. Teacher: You can only enter my class if you answer the following questions. Akpos: Okay. Go on. Teacher: Akpos how was your night? Akpos: I don’t know ma, I was sleeping. Teacher: Why do we drink water? Akpos: Because we cannot eat water. Teacher: Akpos, what Is the name for a baby lizard? Akpos 3 Apkos: Lizzy baby. Teacher: The process of developing from a child to an Adult is called Akpos: ADULTERY. The Teacher exclaimed: What manner of Man are you, Akpos? You are very silly. Go and sit down now. As usual, Akpos bounced to his seat. The Teacher turned to the class and asked: - Teacher: who is a pharmacist? Only Akpos raised up his hand Teacher: So Akpos is the most intelligent student I have in this class? So there is no body else to answer the question except Akpos? (there was no reply from the students) Teacher: Ok, Akpos, use this cane and flog everyone ten strokes of cane each…. Akpos with a wide smile gave all the student ten hot strokes of the cane each…. Teacher: Okay, my dear Akpos tell these dumb student who a Pharmacist is… Akpos: A Pharmacist is a farmer who assist people. The Teacher fainted. Akpos 5 Exam Day Akpos and his best friend Kome sat in the exam room to write their final exams. Kome had studied very well for the paper while Akpos had not. This is what went on between them in the exam room. INVIGILATOR: 10 mins more… AKPOS: Kome, are you done with the theory? KOME: Yes, but I am now doing the objectives. AKPOS: Ok then pass the theory to me, for me to copy because I have not done anything. KOME: Is that so? Ok take it and copy because time is not on our side. AKPOS: Thanks INVIGILATOR: Get ready to stop work…… KOME: Hey Akpos, give me my paper. AKPOS: Oh Kome, I couldn’t do it oo…it was too much, so I cancelled your name and wrote my name there… KOME: What!!!??? INVIGILATOR: Stop work!!! Two weeks later, the exams results were published Principal: Akpos your result was very poor and disgraceful. What’s your favourite subject? Akpos: Free period. Akpos 2

the long waited wanted face...akpos finally review heself

fact about men

which is the largest

Akpos fell into a well and was screaming for help. His wife Ekaete came with a rope to help: AKPOS: How much did you buythe rope? EKAETTE: NGN 1000 AKPOS(Still inside the well about to drown, shouted): What! Return it now now, go to papa Ochuko at the fourth street he sells it for NGN 250.00 Hurry up before I die here oh! . One word for Akpos

Akpos was interviewed by a CNN reporter,this was what transpired! CNN:Mr Akpos before we proceed,we will want to know where you are from? Akpos:proudly naija! CNN: Wow,may I ask you a simple question! Akpos: offcourse. CNN: who is the president of nigeria? Akpos:JEGA. CNN: are you insane,i said president not INEC chairman.we are on a world wide broadcast,so don't embarrass your self. Akpos: the name of the president of my country is JEGA. CNN:mr akpos its obvious that you are illiterate and insane.you better go and start from the beginning! (reporter walking away) Akpos:come hear my friend,the name of my president is JEGA: J for Jonathan,E for Ebele,G for Goodluck,and A for Azikiwe! Now who is illiterate? Between akpos and the reporter who is wisest and smart?

Pls,I need 2 ask u somtin dat has kept me sleepless n unrest. It might be awkward between us after this, but I hav 2 knw hw u feel. I hv kept it in mind 4 a while now but i think it's finally the time i straighten up&confront u,i jst hop dis doesnt ruin our friendship, i need 2 knw & i dnt knw any oda way i could get over dis. It just doesnt seem fair on me if i dnt get an answer. I want u 2 tel me truthfully no matter hw harsh it is, all i need is ur honest answer. Please hw much is fufu in ur area?. Pls Answer me i dey wait o!

READ WHAT A FAN LIKE YOU SENT ME: "Before he became a governor, Olusegun Kokumo Agagu was the Aviation Minister under Olusegun Obasanjo. Under his watch Aviation sector in Nigeria became a death trap and a nightmare for many travellers. Mr. Agagu did nothing to revive or help the sector, but he helped his pocket. His dead body “re-died” alongside of his many other family members, a day before his internment. This reminds me of Abdukarim Adisa as minister of Works. Although he was from Ilorin, Adisa refused to fix the Ibadan Ilorin road. Few years later he died in an accident on the same road. I hope all the other imbeciles ruling Nigeria know that life & death can also be a metaphor. Corruption has a way of fighting back, when you least expect it. Fix Nigeria. You will not only invariably fix your family in the process, but your future, and your future resting place. I hope all those bastards in helm of Nigeria affairs are reading this? Because your time will soon come!!! Law of carma!!" I don't know how true it is but I believe it.... What do you think?

Akpos Laugh Time!!! Teacher:- ''what is 1+1?'' Children: ''8" Teacher: "correct" what is 2+5? Children: "14" Teacher:- "correct" Teacher:- "what is 4+6? Children:"20 Teacher:-"corre ct, Who is d president of nigeria? Children. Olamide Teacher. Correct, Who is d president of America? Children. Tiwa Savage Teacher. Correct Teacher:- Good it's gonna Remain like that until government increases my salary!

The Ultimate Business Plan Template for Bloggers Hey bloggers, here’s a potential newsflash for you. It’s OK to make money from your blog. You don’t have to feel guilty or like a “sell out” for doing so. Lots of people are earning a living from blogs these days and there’s no reason you can’t join that growing group. But before you run off and slap some advertising on your site in hopes of making millions, let’s talk about the reality of earning a living from a blog. First, a blog isn’t a business. A blog is simply a good way to reach an audience online. If you want to build a business around your blog, that’s completely doable, but you need to think about the business end of things just like you would with any other business. Second, a little planning can go a long way. Yes, if you build a giant audience online, chances are you’ll be able to make money somehow even without planning. But most people don’t build giant audiences. Most people build modest audiences. Bloggers who plan ahead can still earn a comfortable or even great living from a modest-sized audience. Bloggers who don’t plan ahead are usually stuck with some unpleasant choices when they realize they aren’t on track to build the next Boing Boing or Zen Habits. I built the simple and effective business plan template for bloggers below based on my own journey and from watching and helping dozens of other bloggers build real businesses over the past two years. This isn’t your typical business-school type plan. It’s the kind of plan that aims to get you thinking about what matters instead of creating random 5-year revenue numbers out of thin air. Planning is guessing after all, but simple planning has been shown to increase a business’s chances of succeeding. Answer these questions and you’ll have a better shot at building a successful business around your blog. Let’s begin. Foundation - Why should anyone read your blog? Why are you starting this blog and why do you want to build this business? It’s important to have at least two goals to build a successful business: you need to genuinely care about helping (or entertaining, or both) other people, and you need to want to build a business and support yourself. Think about your own reasons for starting this blog. List your honest answers here. hat goals do you have for your blog personally, both monetary and otherwise? What would you like your blog to provide you with? How much money would you like to earn? List your answers for six months from now, one year from now, two years from now and three years from now. Also list intangible goals you might have, like lifestyle or emotional goals. What problem will your blog solve, or (alternately), what need or desire will it fill? To build a business around your blog, it needs to follow the same rules that all successful businesses follow. Your site needs to solve a problem or address a need or desire. Why should anyone read your blog vs. the millions of other blogs out there? Whether you admit it or not, your blog will be competing for attention with thousands of other sites out there. Why should someone read yours instead of the other fantastic choices that exist? How are you especially qualified to produce a blog on this particular topic? You have to care about a topic and be knowledgeable about it (or have the ability to bring in experts to share knowledge) in order to produce compelling content. Are you qualified in this way? How is your blog different from what already exists on the same topic? Differentiation is the cornerstone of successful marketing. Without being different no one will have a reason to read your blog. How will yours be different? What kinds of people will read your blog? Who is your ideal reader? Describe the kinds of people who will read your blog. Where do they hang out online already? Do you consider yourself part of those communities? What kinds of competition exist already in this space? Competition isn’t necessarily a bad thing. It proves that there is demand. Without competition you may be making a crap shoot about whether anyone will actually care about your topic.

At a Sunday school class, one Sunday morning, after an interesting topic, the teacher asked, "Any question?" Akpos, looking puzzled, raised his hand. Akpos : "U said the children of Israel escaped from Egypt?" Teacher: Yes Akpos: "U said the children of Israel crossed the red sea?" Teacher: Yes Akpos: "U said the children of Israel also brought down the mighty walls of Jericho? Teacher: "Yes Akpos!" "What exactly is your question?" Akpos : "When the children of Israel were doing all this, where exactly were the adults of Israel??" # teacherkept quiet

 It was miraculous survival for mr. Femi Akinsanya in yesterday's #‎Associated Airline Plane Crash as he walked out unhurt.

Hear what an eye witness said "I saw one walk out on his legs". I think he is the only one that walked out....

No matter how terrible your condition is, you shall walk out on your legs in Jesus name!
Type a big "AMEN" to claim it.

 The government announced that if you have
5 children your salary will be increased by 50
percent.
AKPOS heard the news and said to his wife,
"Darling, I have a kid with my girlfriend. I'm
going to bring him so we can add him to our
4 kids."
When he came back, he saw only one of his
children remaining. He asked, "where are the
others?"
His wife replied, you are not the only one
who
heard the news, "THEIR FATHERS HAVE COME
FOR THEM!

 The Lecturer said, "let's begin by reviewing
some Nigerian history." The Lecturer asked
who said, "I shall return to die in the land of
my fathers?" She saw a sea of blank faces,
except for Akpos, who had his hand up.
Akpos replied: "King Jaja of Opobo, 1875"
"very good!" said lecturer.Then she asked
again, who said, "The land use act will feed
the nation?" Again, no response except from
Akposh: "Obasanjo, 1976."The Lecturer
snapped at the class; "class, you should be
ashamed. Akpos, who is new to our Country,
knows more about our history than you do."
The Lecturer heard a loud whisper: "Ghana
must go". "who said that?" she demanded,
Akpos put his hand up, "Buhari 1984."
At that point, a student at the back scornfully
said; "Hmmm, you think you are smart?" The
Lecturer glared and asked; "All right! Now,
who said that?" Again, Akpos
said,"Babangidato Abiola, 1992."
Hmmm, a Student at the back smilled " I dey
laugh ooh" Akpos smilled back and said
Obasanjo to Atiku 2001.
Now furious, another student yelled; "Oh
yeah! Eat this!" Akpos jumped out of his chair
waving his hand and shouting to the
Lecturer, "Indian mistress giving an apple to
Abacha, 1998"
Now, with almost mob hyseria, someone said;
"You little poo. If you say anything else, I'll
kill you."
Akpos frantically yelled at the top of his voice;
"Chris Uba to Ngige, 2004!"
The Lecturer fainted, and as the class
gathered around her on the floor, someone
said; "Oh poo, we're in Big trouble now!"
Akpos
whispered; "Chimaroke Nnamani, Ayodele
Fayose and Lucky Igbinedon 2007"
Someone angrily said; "Dont answer him, he
is a fool" Akpos smiled replied; "Obansanjo to
IBB, 2011"
Now the Lecturer manage to get up and asks
Akpos; pls, who're you? Show your self..Akpos
jumped, yelled and said; Jonathan to BOKO
HARAM, 2013

 The Lecturer said, "let's begin by reviewing
some Nigerian history." The Lecturer asked
who said, "I shall return to die in the land of
my fathers?" She saw a sea of blank faces,
except for Akpos, who had his hand up.
Akpos replied: "King Jaja of Opobo, 1875"
"very good!" said lecturer.Then she asked
again, who said, "The land use act will feed
the nation?" Again, no response except from
Akposh: "Obasanjo, 1976."The Lecturer
snapped at the class; "class, you should be
ashamed. Akpos, who is new to our Country,
knows more about our history than you do."
The Lecturer heard a loud whisper: "Ghana
must go". "who said that?" she demanded,
Akpos put his hand up, "Buhari 1984."
At that point, a student at the back scornfully
said; "Hmmm, you think you are smart?" The
Lecturer glared and asked; "All right! Now,
who said that?" Again, Akpos
said,"Babangidato Abiola, 1992."
Hmmm, a Student at the back smilled " I dey
laugh ooh" Akpos smilled back and said
Obasanjo to Atiku 2001.
Now furious, another student yelled; "Oh
yeah! Eat this!" Akpos jumped out of his chair
waving his hand and shouting to the
Lecturer, "Indian mistress giving an apple to
Abacha, 1998"
Now, with almost mob hyseria, someone said;
"You little poo. If you say anything else, I'll
kill you."
Akpos frantically yelled at the top of his voice;
"Chris Uba to Ngige, 2004!"
The Lecturer fainted, and as the class
gathered around her on the floor, someone
said; "Oh poo, we're in Big trouble now!"
Akpos
whispered; "Chimaroke Nnamani, Ayodele
Fayose and Lucky Igbinedon 2007"
Someone angrily said; "Dont answer him, he
is a fool" Akpos smiled replied; "Obansanjo to
IBB, 2011"
Now the Lecturer manage to get up and asks
Akpos; pls, who're you? Show your self..Akpos
jumped, yelled and said; Jonathan to BOKO
HARAM, 2013

 A burglar broke into a house one night and as he grab the stereo, he heard a voice saying "Jesus is watching you!". He froze in his tracks and has he shined his flash light around the room, he noticed a parrot in the corner, he said angrily "did you say that" the parrot answered back "Yep, I'm just trying to warn you".

The burglar looked puzzled and said "Warn me? Who are you", the parrot said "my name is Moses". He laughed and said "What kind of crazy people would name a parrot Moses..." the parrot replied "the same kind of people who would name a hundred and fifty pound BULLDOG Jesus!"

 A burglar broke into a house one night and as he grab the stereo, he heard a voice saying "Jesus is watching you!". He froze in his tracks and has he shined his flash light around the room, he noticed a parrot in the corner, he said angrily "did you say that" the parrot answered back "Yep, I'm just trying to warn you".

The burglar looked puzzled and said "Warn me? Who are you", the parrot said "my name is Moses". He laughed and said "What kind of crazy people would name a parrot Moses..." the parrot replied "the same kind of people who would name a hundred and fifty pound BULLDOG Jesus!"

 Akpos was roaming about the Lagos international airport.He saw a wallet on
the road.he picked it up and open
it,he
discovered that $5,000 is on it. he
quickly
removed it and throw away the
wallet.he
turn his car immediately and said
"make i
waka fast before somebody wen
no lost
money go be dey claim say him
lost
money" .as he was driving home,he
tune
on to wazobia fm radio.there was
a
programme on air.Akpos call the
radio
station.
Akpos:hello is that wazobia fm?
Station:yes.wetin happen?
Akpos:i see $5,000 for inside
wallet
today.Naijaloaded plus
Station:wow! U are a good
samaritan.do
u want to come to our station?
Akpos: no.....i want u to play me P.Square
music.....eno easy aa...oooo.baba
God na
ur handwork

 BREAKING NEWS!!!
There is another plane crash and this time
nobody survived. As the news brought to
us,below are the list of the passengers in
the plane
(1). your problems
(2). your shame
(3). your sorrows
(4). your failure
(5). your tears
(6). your sickness
(7). your
weakness
(8). your pains
(9). your struggles
Do not worry about their corpse because
nothing can be traced about them
because they all perished with the aircraft.
IN the name of God almighty...type amen..

 BREAKING NEWS!!!
There is another plane crash and this time
nobody survived. As the news brought to
us,below are the list of the passengers in
the plane
(1). your problems
(2). your shame
(3). your sorrows
(4). your failure
(5). your tears
(6). your sickness
(7). your
weakness
(8). your pains
(9). your struggles
Do not worry about their corpse because
nothing can be traced about them
because they all perished with the aircraft.
IN the name of God almighty...type amen..

 BREAKING NEWS!!!
There is another plane crash and this time
nobody survived. As the news brought to
us,below are the list of the passengers in
the plane
(1). your problems
(2). your shame
(3). your sorrows
(4). your failure
(5). your tears
(6). your sickness
(7). your
weakness
(8). your pains
(9). your struggles
Do not worry about their corpse because
nothing can be traced about them
because they all perished with the aircraft.
IN the name of God almighty...type amen..

 BREAKING NEWS!!!
There is another plane crash and this time
nobody survived. As the news brought to
us,below are the list of the passengers in
the plane
(1). your problems
(2). your shame
(3). your sorrows
(4). your failure
(5). your tears
(6). your sickness
(7). your
weakness
(8). your pains
(9). your struggles
Do not worry about their corpse because
nothing can be traced about them
because they all perished with the aircraft.
IN the name of God almighty...type amen..

 AKPOS was hungry and went to 'mai
shayi' (men selling tea and bread).
The following dialogue transpired between
them:
AKPOS: You get loaf of bread?

ABOKI: yes
AKPOS: bring one; slice am into two and put
two sachet of butter in between
ABOKI: (happy and thanking God for bringing
customer,is quickly doing as he is instructed )
AKPOS: You get egg?
ABOKI: yes customer
AKPOS: fry 6 eggs put am inside the bread.
ABOKI: Okay customer
AKPOS: You get sardin for inside gongoni?
ABOKI: yes customer everything dey. AKPOS: put two gongoni inside the bread. ABOKI: Okay customer (happy and doing as he is told, already enthusiastic he'll make a lot of money 2day) AKPOS: you don finish? Oya press the bread together for me. ABOKI: See am customer, i don prepare am finish. AKPOS: OYA CUT N10 Naira OWN FOR ME!

 AKPOS was hungry and went to 'mai
shayi' (men selling tea and bread).
The following dialogue transpired between
them:
AKPOS: You get loaf of bread?

ABOKI: yes
AKPOS: bring one; slice am into two and put
two sachet of butter in between
ABOKI: (happy and thanking God for bringing
customer,is quickly doing as he is instructed )
AKPOS: You get egg?
ABOKI: yes customer
AKPOS: fry 6 eggs put am inside the bread.
ABOKI: Okay customer
AKPOS: You get sardin for inside gongoni?
ABOKI: yes customer everything dey. AKPOS: put two gongoni inside the bread. ABOKI: Okay customer (happy and doing as he is told, already enthusiastic he'll make a lot of money 2day) AKPOS: you don finish? Oya press the bread together for me. ABOKI: See am customer, i don prepare am finish. AKPOS: OYA CUT N10 Naira OWN FOR ME!

 Lampedusa boat disaster:

Row in Italy over deaths Italy's coast guard has denied that it was slow to respond to the sinking of a boat carrying African migrants off the island of Lampedusa on Thursday.
The accusations were made by a fisherman who took part in the rescue and a local newspaper.
So far, 111 bodies have been recovered, and 155 people survived, but about 200 are still unaccounted for.
High winds have prevented divers from reaching the boat, restricting rescuers to an aerial search.
France has called for an urgent meeting of EU states following the tragedy.
"European political officials must talk, and soon," said French Prime Minister Jean-Marc Ayrault.
"It is up to them to meet to find a proper solution; compassion is not enough."
Tens of thousands of migrants attempt the perilous crossing from North Africa to Sicily and other Italian islands each year, and accidents are common - but this week's shipwreck was among the deadliest on record.
'Clandestine immigration'
The survivors are to be placed under investigation for "clandestine immigration", as provided for by a controversial immigration law pushed through by right-wing parties in 2002.
Italy has said it will amend immigration laws and has called for European help.
Italian members of parliament have complained that some of its provisions discourage people from helping migrants in distress.
The fisherman who arrived first at the site of the accident, Vito Fiorino, has accused the coast guard of wasting time by filming footage of rescue efforts.
"They refused to take on board some people we'd already saved because they said protocol forbade it," he was quoted as saying by Ansa news agency.
A report in local newspaper La Sicilia said two boats belonging to Italy's Financial Guard, which carries out a range of police and rescue duties, had remained in port.
The coast guard denied that there was any delay in its rescue effort.
"After we received the alarm by radio at 07:00 we immediately intervened with out boats, arriving on at the site of the shipwreck at 07:20," it said in a statement.
Judicial authorities said they had no evidence of delays.
The head of a fishermen's association, Toto Martello, denied in turn reports that three fishermen drove straight past the scene of the accident.

source: BBC

 Lampedusa boat disaster:

Row in Italy over deaths Italy's coast guard has denied that it was slow to respond to the sinking of a boat carrying African migrants off the island of Lampedusa on Thursday.
The accusations were made by a fisherman who took part in the rescue and a local newspaper.
So far, 111 bodies have been recovered, and 155 people survived, but about 200 are still unaccounted for.
High winds have prevented divers from reaching the boat, restricting rescuers to an aerial search.
France has called for an urgent meeting of EU states following the tragedy.
"European political officials must talk, and soon," said French Prime Minister Jean-Marc Ayrault.
"It is up to them to meet to find a proper solution; compassion is not enough."
Tens of thousands of migrants attempt the perilous crossing from North Africa to Sicily and other Italian islands each year, and accidents are common - but this week's shipwreck was among the deadliest on record.
'Clandestine immigration'
The survivors are to be placed under investigation for "clandestine immigration", as provided for by a controversial immigration law pushed through by right-wing parties in 2002.
Italy has said it will amend immigration laws and has called for European help.
Italian members of parliament have complained that some of its provisions discourage people from helping migrants in distress.
The fisherman who arrived first at the site of the accident, Vito Fiorino, has accused the coast guard of wasting time by filming footage of rescue efforts.
"They refused to take on board some people we'd already saved because they said protocol forbade it," he was quoted as saying by Ansa news agency.
A report in local newspaper La Sicilia said two boats belonging to Italy's Financial Guard, which carries out a range of police and rescue duties, had remained in port.
The coast guard denied that there was any delay in its rescue effort.
"After we received the alarm by radio at 07:00 we immediately intervened with out boats, arriving on at the site of the shipwreck at 07:20," it said in a statement.
Judicial authorities said they had no evidence of delays.
The head of a fishermen's association, Toto Martello, denied in turn reports that three fishermen drove straight past the scene of the accident.

source: BBC

  AKPOS LETTER TO PRESIDENT JONATHAN ON ASUU STRIKE
Oga president,
First of all I hail ooo! I no say u no dey cary last. You be confirm warri pikin. But ur middle name Ebele means mercy and
make u pity ur children settle their lecturers naa! The matter neva tire u? Suppose say ur pikin wey u born for belle follow us
dey house, Sheeh you for never answer our we lecturers them? Una say make we bone kidnapping, militant things and all the
bad bad things go enter school, now now na una com dey f**k up. All the things wey them lecturers don teash us for klass
we don forget am finish. Last last, na una go still call us "half-baked", "half-roasted", abi na "half-fried". Na una sabi.
Them talk say person no fit run pass him shadow. We go dey lasgidi dey for you. Na ur time be dis use am well, but we go
catch you for 2015. U don forget say youths na we dey vote pass. Na we too dey snatch ballot box, dey do rally and som
kain kukere things them wey them dey take win election. U go still nid our help. That time too we go go strike. Shebi u sabi
waka for bare feet, u go carry ur leg do ur rally. No thugs for u. We no go snatch ballot make you for win. If any maga try
am we go fall am.
So Oga Jona, na ur opportunity be dis ooo. Make u code this stubborn ASUU make dem cary their wahala go back. We no
say na rush them go rush us we no send. All join. Na who get leg dey pass exam no be who read. Na still who get leg dey
get beta work. Na Naija we dey. So make u do something because our mate dem for private university don graj finish. We
don tire to dey beef them. If u no shake bodi fast make u no forget say university of militancy still dey admit. Dey neva
release 2nd batch ooo!
May u grit maale Patience for we, thank baba God say she and gran papa Soyinka don settle that their quarrel, 2 agbayas,
plus all those bad belle advisers wey u get. God pass them! Bros Amaechi still dey Niger-delta here, the guy don tire for ur
mata. We dey grit u for am too. We go stop for here. E go be na. Naija! student for life!
Na ur waffi boy.

 AKPOS LETTER TO PRESIDENT JONATHAN ON ASUU STRIKE
Oga president,
First of all I hail ooo! I no say u no dey cary last. You be confirm warri pikin. But ur middle name Ebele means mercy and
make u pity ur children settle their lecturers naa! The matter neva tire u? Suppose say ur pikin wey u born for belle follow us
dey house, Sheeh you for never answer our we lecturers them? Una say make we bone kidnapping, militant things and all the
bad bad things go enter school, now now na una com dey f**k up. All the things wey them lecturers don teash us for klass
we don forget am finish. Last last, na una go still call us "half-baked", "half-roasted", abi na "half-fried". Na una sabi.
Them talk say person no fit run pass him shadow. We go dey lasgidi dey for you. Na ur time be dis use am well, but we go
catch you for 2015. U don forget say youths na we dey vote pass. Na we too dey snatch ballot box, dey do rally and som
kain kukere things them wey them dey take win election. U go still nid our help. That time too we go go strike. Shebi u sabi
waka for bare feet, u go carry ur leg do ur rally. No thugs for u. We no go snatch ballot make you for win. If any maga try
am we go fall am.
So Oga Jona, na ur opportunity be dis ooo. Make u code this stubborn ASUU make dem cary their wahala go back. We no
say na rush them go rush us we no send. All join. Na who get leg dey pass exam no be who read. Na still who get leg dey
get beta work. Na Naija we dey. So make u do something because our mate dem for private university don graj finish. We
don tire to dey beef them. If u no shake bodi fast make u no forget say university of militancy still dey admit. Dey neva
release 2nd batch ooo!
May u grit maale Patience for we, thank baba God say she and gran papa Soyinka don settle that their quarrel, 2 agbayas,
plus all those bad belle advisers wey u get. God pass them! Bros Amaechi still dey Niger-delta here, the guy don tire for ur
mata. We dey grit u for am too. We go stop for here. E go be na. Naija! student for life!
Na ur waffi boy.

 She panted softly as she pressed back against the rough bark of a tree, her eyes closing as she tried to catch her breath. She was sure she had at least two more minutes before she had to start running again. Running the tip of her tongue along her dry lips she pushed away from the tree and took off again, leaping over fallen tree trunks and roots as well as anything else that got in her way. She started to breath through her nose and exhale through her mouth to keep herself going even though her lungs were burning and her legs were tiring. She had run for miles, first in her natural form and now in her human. While her human form was slower and weaker her scent in her wolf form was stronger which would easily lead him to her. Werewolves were sensitive to smells no matter what form they were in.

She stumbled suddenly, cursing as she tripped over the fallen trunk she had some how missed seeing in the dark. She lay on the ground for a moment, holding herself up on her hands and knees, as once again she tried to catch her breath. Suddenly her head snapped up and she inhaled slowly through her nose. Shit, he was close. Scrambling to her feet she took off only to reach up and grab a tree branch just above her head. Quickly she pulled herself up into the tree, sitting on the sturdy branch she had grabbed. She couldn't run any more so instead she would sit out of his reach once he got there.

He could smell her, hell she was all he could smell! Her scent wafted into his nostrils and fogged his brain yet made his vision all the more clearer. He had caught onto her scent when he found her clothing at the beginning of the forest behind the manor. When he had seen the pile of garments he had groaned, as he knew that meant she was naked, well she would be when she was in her human form. Her scent was easy to track in the beginning for she had obviously been in her were-form and everything was multiplied in that form. Yet two or three miles into the forest her scent weakened slightly but he was so intent on finding it and it was now burned in his nostrils so it was still easy to follow.

He himself was in his were-form. His fur was a thick coat of black with a blaze of white from the center of his forehead to the tip of his nose as well as white along his chest and belly. He almost looked like her when they were both wolves yet she was completely black save for the white start in the center of her forehead and where his eyes were a deep amber color hers were a baby-blue, odd for wolves yet stunning none the less. Because of his heightened senses he was able to see what she had touched simply by following her smell, it was like following a purple path of smoke that only he could see. He saw the tree she had leaned up against and grinned, so she was wearing out eh? Good that meant more fun for him.

When he saw where she had fallen as well as where her scent stopped he whimpered and sniffed at the air. The wind was working for him as a soft gust blew her scent towards him and he grinned, wolfish lips pulling back across his teeth as his golden eyes lifted to the tree she was sitting in. He barked, which got her attention, and padded over to her perch where he pawed at the ground around the base of the tree.

She sighed as she looked down at him, one leg dangling over the edge of the tree branch. "Aww pooh, and here I thought I had evaded you with my elusive tactics."

He gave a bark of laugher and a dark cloud suddenly enveloped his body as he shifted forms. When the cloud vanished he stood, just as naked as she, at the base of the tree grinning up at her. Yet there was one difference between her nakedness and his, yes she was female and he was male but he, being the male that he was, had a hard-on. You see she was in heat and her scent was driving him crazy with want and all he had to do to have her was catch her. But first he would play her game.

Shifting, slightly uncomfortable, he stood with his legs braced apart with his arms behind his back as he stared up at her. "You know just as well as I, Katara, that I will have you as mine and just because you sit in that tree content as a bird does not mean I will not get you." His voice was husky and little did he know how it sent shivers along her spine and made her skin tingle every time she heard it.

She sighed and curled a lock of black hair around her index finger. "Well, Quinn, I intend to stay up here until you do get me for we both know that is the only way you're going to have me." She winked and decided to taunt him some by sitting sideways on the branch with her legs dangling over the side.

She used her perch to her advantage to look him over in all his naked glory. He had tan skin from working outside everyday and that tan skin covered lean muscles that she just itched to run her hands over. She wanted to see if his skin felt like the satin it looked like and she wanted to feel it against all of her, her skin pressed to his hopefully while both of them were covered in sweat. She bit her lower lip to keep her groan from ever leaving her as she continued to let her gaze roam over him. His hair was just as dark as hers but he had two white locks of hair at either side of his face, which framed it, the mass of it falling to just above his shoulders. He had one of those perfectly chiseled faces with a strong chin and chizled cheekbones, full lips, and gorgeous eyes...perfect, he was just perfect. Her eyes followed the light dusting of dark hair from the bottom of his navel down to where it framed his manhood then down to his legs. Everything about him looked strong, powerful thighs and calves from lifting heavy things, which also built onto the muscle of his arms. Everything about him just screamed strength and sensuality.

He knew she was looking at him and because of that he stood to his full height, six four, and tossed his hair back out of his eyes. He kept his stance as he watched her eyes look him over but then his own molten gaze started to wander. She was small yet strong, her body wasn't an hourglass figure but she did have full, rounded, breasts and hips. Her stomach was flat and there was a hint of a four pack in her abdomen when she stretched or moved just right, her legs were what made up most of her five six form and he could already imagine them wrapped around his waist, gripping him as they moved as one. He groaned softly as his erection surged, aching with the need to fill her. Shaking his head his eyes continued to roam over her. Her hair fell around her hips in thick waves of bluish-black curls, a few strands clinging to the smooth curves of her arms and shoulders. Her face was fairy like, high cheek bones, smooth completion, almond shaped eyes, and full lips that let a voice that flowed like water and sounded like the barest of caresses slip past them to tingle the tiny hairs in his ears.

He had had enough, he wanted her and now!

His low growl got her attention to snap back to his eyes once more and the heated look he was giving her made her swallow, hard. He had dropped his arms back to his sides and he was just staring at her yet when a grin slowly curved his lips upwards her breath caught. He was up to something.

"Katara," he purred her name and watched her shudder, "I'll give you two minutes to get out of that tree."

She blinked then laughed as she started to sway her legs, she still believed herself to be out of his reach but apparently she had forgotten how tall he was. "Or what?" She asked coyly, a delicate brow winging upward as she looked at him with a spark of a challenge. He just gave her a look so hot she felt as if she had been set aflame.

He growled again as he smelled her scent spike and it was doing nothing to help his control. "One minute, Katara." She just laughed at him and flipped her hair at his warning. That was it. With another loud growl his arms shot upwards and his strong fingers wrapped around her ankles and with one tug she came tumbling out of the tree and into his arms with nothing more than a soft cry of surprise.

"You're mine now, Katara." He murmured the words against her mouth as his left hand had tightly wound itself around her waist as his right hand dove into her hair, wrapping it around his hand to tilt her head back.

She licked her lips; her tongue inches away from touching his lips when she did so, as she suddenly found her mouth had gone dry. She parted her lips to reply but nothing but a low croak came from her.

He laughed. "Wolf got your tongue?" He saw her eyes narrow and her lips parted again to retort but he cut her off. His mouth brushed lightly over hers, his tongue slipping from his lips to trace her fuller ones with the tip of it. It was like the touch of a feather against her lips yet it was enough to effectively cut her off.

The tip of his tongue danced over her lips and she melted against him, her arms lifting to wrap around his neck as she pressed her body against his. They both groaned at the feel of their skin against one another and he pulled her closer to him, crushing her body against his. His kiss turned ravenous then, his mouth pressed to hers, his teeth nipping at her lower lip, tongue soothing away the sting of his soft bite. She eagerly returned his kiss and it was her tongue that sought entrance into his mouth, pushing past his lips to sweep her tongue along his. She explored his mouth and tasted his groan while at the same time feeling his arms tighten around her.

His tongue darted forward to meet hers, starting to push it back so he could have the chance to explore her mouth as well. He was doing fine at keeping his control on a tight leash, making sure to keep the beast within him contained so he could have his fun with her. Yet when he felt her fingers grasp his shaft and stroke upward once, slowly yet with a firm grip, he saw spots dance before his eyes as, for a moment, pleasure blinded him. With a savage growl he broke away from her and suddenly they were both on the ground.

She gasped as she felt the cool moss covered ground press against her back and she blinked up at him, feeling the heat of his body press against her side as well the hardness of his erection pressed against her thigh.

"You're such a tease, Katara, always moving in a way that you know gets to me while I work…driving me to distraction with these lips of yours." His voice was husky as he spoke and he traced her lips with the tip of his finger. His eyes were glazed over and they looked more like molten gold now than they had before and those same eyes followed the path of his finger as it slid down over her chin and down her neck, pausing to press against the wild pulse at her neck. For a quick moment his eyes flickered up to hers then fell to her lips again before once again following his finger as it started moving again. Once he got just past her collarbones he played his fingers over her skin, spreading them so the tips of each fingers caressed a path of creamy skin beneath them. When he got to the swells of her breasts he stopped again as if he couldn't decide which way to go. He growled as he made up his mind, his fingers slid to the left to caress that breast, his index finger pressing lightly into her nipple, and his head lowered so his tongue could lap over her right nipple. His teeth lightly closed around that same nipple and tugged lightly, tongue lapping over it while his fingers kneaded her other breast.

She whimpered and her back arched, nails digging into the ground at her sides. His tongue was slightly rough, as was hers, thanks to their wolf genes and it was the perfect texture to send electric tingles down her nerves to collect at the juncture of her thighs to pool together as a warm liquid heat that she could feel leaking from her.

All too suddenly he broke away and she bit her lip to keep from whimpering again. She would not beg, she was too proud for that. Instead she tried to control her breathing which was quickly turning into soft pants, little gasps of air. She felt his fingers press against her stomach and an odd tingling feeling, not at all unpleasant, rolled another rush of heat to pool between her thighs. She gasped and her eyes went wide as she felt the tip of one finger push between her lower lips to spread the sticky heat upwards only to stop just below her clit. She felt a throb deep within herself and she moaned, lifting her hips as if begging him to keep going. He just chuckled at her.

"See, it's not nice to be teased is it, Katara?" before she could answer his finger flicked up, catching her clit in one quick movement.

She almost squealed as pleasure tightened her inner muscles, making them clench onto nothing. "N-n-n-o." She moved her hips again, looking for his finger, but he had pulled his hand back. Damn being too proud to beg! She wanted this, she wanted him! "Quinn…please!"

Laughing he leaned down and pressed a kiss to her abdomen, his tongue flicking down to dip into her navel. "I intend to have my fun with you first." His hand moved back to where it had been, one finger sliding in her slick heat again to push into her, grinning as her hips lifted. He curled his finger upwards and rubbed against the fleshy wall, his eyes hungrily watching as she started to writhe. With another finger he caressed her clit, pushing against the hard clot of nerves, circling it with the tip of his finger, pushing it to one side then another, all the while watching her moan and undulate against his fingers-a second having slipped into her moist cavern.

She was panting now, open moth panting, and in between groans and mewl like sounds she gasped for breath. Oh what delicious torture! Then…she got a wicked idea. Her lips turned up into a feral grin and seeing it made him stop.

Shit, he was in for it now, he knew that look. Quicker than he could blink he was the one suddenly on his back with Katara on top of him, her small hands pressing down against his chest.

"If you thought I teased before…" She trailed off with a laugh, laughing all the harder when she heard him audibly swallow. "Mmmm, it's my turn to play now isn't it?" She laughed again only this time it was different, husky yet erotic sounding.

She dropped her head towards his, her breath tickling his lips as she seemed about to kiss him, yet instead of kissing him she just grinned and brushed her lips along his jaw down to his neck where she nipped lightly. She delighted in the little catch in his breath when she did that and she left his neck with one last nip where his shoulder and neck meshed. She trailed a path of butterfly kisses over his chest, dragging her own semi-rough tongue over his flat nipples before she continued her downward decent.

Glancing up at him once she was above his erection she winked and her tongue slowly, almost lazily, lapped over the head of him. She heard him gasp then growl as she dragged her tongue from the base of his arousal to the tip where she closed her lips around the very tip of his shaft and sucked lightly.

As much as he wanted to let her keep going he was starting to loose the control he prided himself on. So reaching down he grabbed a fist full of her hair and gently pulled her back up with it, pulling her head to his so he could kiss her. While he had her occupied with his kiss, his tongue thrusting into her mouth to dual with her tongue, his hand moved down to her thighs and pulled them to the sides so she was straddling him, her hips perfectly lined up with his. His left hand moved to rest on her hip and push her down onto him while his right guided him into her. They both groaned as her heat slowly surrounded him and once he was fully inside of her she started to move, his right hand moving to her hips as well.

Their kiss broke off as her movements gained speed. Her thigh muscles worked as she lifted her body up then dropped back down, her palms resting on the ground at either side of his head for leverage. Her head fell to the crook of his neck where she muffled a moan, his own groan vanishing into the air as the night swallowed up their sounds. Even the sound of skin hitting skin was muffled, eaten by the dense forest. Quinn's fingers dug into her hips as he pulled her down into him, lifting his hips with each of her down thrusts.

He couldn't take her slow pace any more so, to take control, he flipped them over to pin her to the ground. She blinked up at him and he grinned, pulling her legs up to wrap them around his waist. He waited until she locked her ankles at the small of his back then lifted her hips up, pulling his own back so he withdrew from her. He pulled himself almost completely out of her, heard her whimper, then drove back into her. He grunted and she cried out, her body arching up off of the ground as pleasure ricocheted throughout their bodies from that one thrust.

"I let you have your fun," he growled, "now it's my turn." His head fell towards her neck and he bit her, not hard enough to hurt however. "You. Are. Mine." He pulled out of her then slammed back, her cries of ecstasy echoing in his ears.

They were both starting to loose it to their animal counterparts as their movements became more wild, more rough. Gripping her hips tightly he groaned as she started to move with him, lifting her hips up to meet every one of his down thrusts, pulling back every time he drew back. Over and over their hips met in a fury of thrusts until their skin was covered in a light sheen of sweat, their bodies glowing as the light of the moon reached them turning them into something almost celestial.

Then they both tightened, their bodies freezing as their hips clashed together one last time and they plunged into the dark oblivion of euphoria together. With a grunt he collapsed on top of her, her arms lifting to wrap around him as her legs stayed locked around his waist. Both of them were panting, breathing as one, breaths mingling.

Chuckling he lazily lifted a hand to stroke the sweat-dampened hair at her temple, his tongue licking at the salty sweat skin of her neck. "Now," he panted, "you see what teasing gets you?" Weakly he lifted himself up onto his elbows so he could look down at her flushed face.

Giggling she winked. "Oh I know exactly what teasing gets me." She grinned wickedly. "And I think I'll be teasing you more often."

They both laughed but their laughter was cut off as their mouths met once more in a sweat kiss that quickly turned passionate.